This is the story of a boy and the 3 rifle rounds in his hand.

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<<The Night always represented my ideal kingdom, so vast and peacefull, could be populated with few people that dare to ventures and never feared dark, or fullfilled with hundreds of people raging together, wandering, have the deepest passion spread out, and the sensation of having every possibility in their hands. Imagining it humanized, it Always represented my ideal lady, with wonderfull dark mid-long hairs, and sexy eyes that shines every night differently, and the most beautiful smile ever seen on earth, also by the people who thinks that only who likes sun can smile better.But surely always be my ideal company, letting me feel encouraged and protected, covering my back during my ‘’archaeology’’ excursions.

Yes archaeology, you bet i'd said that, I’m only 23 and that's my work since a few time, 'cause I lived mostly just cleaning damned windows for big buildings for a few money.My kind of archaeology could only be explained annoying you by talking a little of me and my previous days, when i was a bit younger, and actually more or less the same time that we got separated after you flee towards the east with aunt Irina: i was more or less 11 years old.

In those days, my house was like a sort of refugee.I lived there with my father and my grandfather, as you remember? And ''lived'' is such a neologism, as in fact i was always going to pass most of the time with grandfather haunting in the nearby forest, and that same period, my father instead used to struggle out some coins selling the materials and objects he found on the ghost city of Pripyat. We usually encountered at home casually, while coming back to rest or cook something. My granpa while catching preys, always teached me the important, vital task of earning the respect of an animal, and to be able to ''sense'' it's presence , as it senses mine.If it will be a encounter that will lead the animal to a death, let always be in the total respect of it.I remember one time him kissing the forehead of a red deer, and then, later, drinking up a cup of his salty blood for warming up. Didn't i finished to be something of what both these two strange characters were? They teached me how to stand up and live, both in different ways, but both seriously. I am currently wandering up frequently in a place, my workplace, sneaking through out miles of trash in order to find what i am looking for, like my old father did on the town isn’t it? A destroyed town, so empty, so full of trash, and so frequently visited by human jackals like him....And grandpa teachings? How could have survived without learning when it's the right time to catch an animal for feeding myself also in the middle of nowhere, or to sense the presence of another that could hurt me, or also if it's not really an animal, let's say....a creature?Anyway, my grandapa soon died (father was already disappeared since 4 months and never showed up, never heard a new or a rumor on it) , leaving me in eredità only those teachings and the last 3 rifle cartridges that he had in his pocket from the last day of hunt we had.’’Use those, I couldn’t shot those last time we went, seems that I will not need them anymore where I’m going now, he he ’’, he said while expiring.The second work i did, was with the archaeology mission at the catacombs as a cleaner, as a digger and as a security night-guard was quite useful, teached me to reckognize between something that is nothing, and something that is something, or have been something, that could have a specific value. Learned archaeology almost in a voyeurish way, but finally mastered what I needed from the method.....can’t write anymore now, Alesa.Come here, there's work here, bread, meat, MEAT. Water, a house, but expecially WORK, and i need your assistance.I'll wait for your arrival.Hope to see you soon, cousin. - Sergey.>>

 

 

Alesa dropped immediately the letter.Useless to carry it, what was clearly written there was just ''come'' , and he understood it perfectly, made up immediately a bag with almost everything he had, and spent last money for the train ride and a phonecall. While travelling back to native places, it's eyes looked outside the dusty train window loosing his thoughts on the landscapes...

<<Archaeology? What kind of work could be that, i never eard of something like that there, no expeditions, no workplaces...in ''miles of trash''?.....how' s possible? And about what creatures was he talking about, maybe is a sort of word-joke, like a funny way to describe some old bones discovered under the surface? Bah, work is work, i'm happy to hug Serge again, and he is all has remained to me..>>Two days in train, and he finally arrived at destination.Arriving at the station, a dusty wind was expiring, Sergey was already there and after a warm rejoining, took his bag, and lead him to his home.His new home, a sort of a strenghtened tent planted a few decades of kilometres from ‘’The Zone’’.

 

The first hours passed in the most beautiful way possible....drinking maybe a little too much, but can you measure yourself, after all these years passed alone, while meeting the pleasure of having a sort of ''family'' again? A Family...Hours passed, and Serge was able to introduce Alesa to his new activity, and it’s connection to the worst place on this damned earth, The Zone. Being a Stalker there, entering without any gear at all with the only purpose of challanging the Zone stealing artefacts and technologies, like a thief that dares to advise his victims before coming to steal their goods, was so dangerous even for a smart boy like Serge, and a hand from a trusted person was more important than anything. Serge's experience could anyway make a good lead, he knows his tasks well, but 2 eyes behing his back could have been so necessary that if Alesa had refused, maybe a life of starving could begin for both the two cousins.Everyone knows how the Zone is dangerous nowadays, everyone's talking about it, avoiding the place and the nearby places like the pest.In the days of thievering, there was radioactivity, and it was impossible to venture there, and in Pripiat too. But now, radiation almost expired, but disseminated bad seeds that generated more troubled fruits, like mutants, anomalies, and paradoxically, the more dangerous The Zone became, the more people ventures there to find a way to make dirty moneys, selling drugs, smuggling, thievering technologies and metals, selling weapons. Hours passed. And after a few time more, nighttime arrived, and a restoring sleep was the only thing their bodies needed more. A night can always give you the best suggestions. Next day Alesa agreed to join, and both planned their next ‘’Run’’(that’s the way stalkers described the actions inside The Zone) two days later.

While the hour almost arrived, there was a unreal dusk preparing the stage for the night. Serge prepared himself with some water, a camera, a iron bat, a knife, took his three grandfather bullets and put them into his pocket, and some steaks, weared his wool cap and a black wool jacket, attached a flashlight at his left shoulder, and after a long breath started his car, ready to aim for his most critical run inside the Zone that ever dared to try. Alesa, was in the car since some minutes, and surprisingly quite relaxed....oh if he would know what could possible happen there, would he maintain that expression?....well, better this way.

After some minutes of car riding, they arrived at one kilometer from the main fence, and casually hooked up with a third stalker, that was arrived a few minutes earlier, and was preapring to run inside too. He was ‘’World famous’’ Hristov, an ex bear hunter, well known to any stalkers in The Zone as the man that was able to made an incredible run of 3 days and half inside the most dangerous part of the zone, and survived to retrieve the most wanted device of the easter labs, the rumored X-77 generator, that noone never understood what was it’s use for, but that was in the top requests of every corporation, as showed in the report’s sheet inside the ‘’Dealer’s’’ room.

Walking with him, was reassuring, also if it was just for a kilometer till arriving to the last trees before the fence. The soldiers camp was right 200 meters on the right side, but seems they were all inside a tent listening to some communication, while some other were outside giving some bread to some women outside that were asking for some free food.After a few seconds, the last riflettore illuminated the fence, and a useful gap of twenty seconds of time before the light would came back started, so both the three sneaked inside, and got immediately separated.<<Entering with such a legend can just be a good sign, Alesa!>>.The voice of Serge was deep, calm , concentrated, his words spreaded out in the cold air of the night on the wings of the vapors that his mouth emitted.<<Alesa, i believe our object is located in the south-east buildings, near the post-worktime ricreation centre. Stay close to me, look my back, and follow my steps; For the rest, it 'll go perfectly.>>.

A note of proud was attached to those words, good boy.

<<But keep your eyes opened, 'cause i never passed near that sector, i suppose we will have to front some difficulties.>>.

And they had, of course.In fact, this side of the Zone was something Serge wasn' able to really visit till now, but always eard of.Actually, not all the Zone is made dangerous because of mutants and anomalies.The ricreation buildings were quite safe, towards the lower south east quarters, quite far away from any military hq, and in muddy and empty places that just a few mosters would have visited.

But what they witnessed while arriving there was far more than what they expected to see: actually decades of big red-painted lightbulbs were attached to the buildings and at the entrances. Tens, hundreds , thousands of red light bulbs.

They immediately hide, staring at this enormous red-lighted building that seemed surreal.The bulbs were hand-painted, all attached to a electric line like the lights of a gigantic christmas tree from hell. It was impossible to describe the sense of surprise that ruled that moment, but the sooner it started the sooner it was suddenly broke by a loud, devastating noise of what seemed an old gasoline-powered train locomotive arriving.Alesa was just in time to help Serge hide behind a steel shield, with a timely, wispered << Watch out, here!>>….Serge suffered a adrenaline rush…<< a train arriving, here?>> it was nothing like a surreal image, it was real surreal. <<A train in The zone? functioning? I heard of someone came here by undercarriages on railways, but not about made a working line…and what about the military compound? It’s impossible anyone haven’t spotted this locomotive…>>….but soon every question was answered.People that was clearly seemed like smugglers came outside, leaded by a short sized man that immediately entered the main door of the compound, followed by his men transporting a whole load of miniguns.Alesa shot a look to his cousin that immediately replyed with a sign of ‘’coming with him’’, inside a long iron tube that ended some good 50 meters in the dark far from that scene. He followed him at the end.<<Alesa, some smugglers, seems this building is occupied by them functioning as a sort of HQ-storage, we have to search a building just 3 streets from here, so we better take the downstairs from here towards the generators room and better be careful. After a few minutes of walk inside the electric generators rooms, we will end in the basements, and will be the right direction I suppose…>>.

<<Yes>> replied firmly Alesa, and descended by first the ladder heading down the well.

The first rooms were incredibly dirty.

Serge lighted up the flashlight, making just a bunch of dust and trash more visible.All the rooms were fullfilled with scattered stuff on the floor, like if someone had tried to make a faster run, jumping the tables and posing hands on them to force their speed through out the building. Some water-tubes loosed liquid before the water reserve was cut out, making walls and some of objects rusty and rotten.They walked forward the first alley, without saying a word, just being disturbed by the place’s appearance.

But suddenly, a quiet noise behind their back got their attention.

They turned slowly, to see what it could have been, spotting a sort of a anthropomorphic living being, like a dwarf, that was looking at them with the same surprised and interested eyes that they had while staring at him in a sort of so human pathetic and innocent expression.But just a few seconds passed in silence, that immediately a door opened from the left of the creture revealing a thin, middle aged man, dressed in talaric dresses, slowly pointing and more slowly inserting a 50 inches blade of a knife inside the little deformed chest of the dwarf, that emitted a sort of a childlish scream while dropping some tears and urine, before collpasing to the ground exanimed.

The scene shocked both Serge and Alesa, that stared at the man cleaning his knife on a calendar on the wall.But if was so shocking to see such a damned living being, the more shocking was seing a priest in the middle of some basements in the middle of nowhere!But again, things explained their meaning by themselves again, as the man spoke with a gritty voice: <<You better watch your backs, sons, seems that this creature got so interested in you two that dared to came near the red buildings too. You know, those red lights are functioning only during nighttime, seems that most of the mutants can’t stand the sight of deep-red lights because of their weak eyes….this little soul forgotten by god dared to venture here anyway, oh, maybe his heart be sedated now….finally?....>>.

The two young ones were puzzled then ever.

<< Oh, I see, you’r probably asking who I am and what I am doing here, sons>> continued the man, recieving a wispered reply << well…actually….>> <<I am Father Nikolaj, maybe you’ve eard about my mission on the village of Fioletov…..I suggest to find a safer place, and meanwhile I’ll explain, here, come>> said, heading inside the room where he came from, followed by both Alesa and Sergey.

<<You see, I’m old enough to remember the first days dealing with this place, and the mess the radiations made to our beloved lands. People starving, abandoning cities, or diing everyday in the rooms of my mission.

Today things are equally quite difficult, but we menage to arrange ourselves as back in the days. But actually we have our needs too, it’s not easy to help people without much resources…and that’s why I’m here, and actually I didn’t came alone..>> as he finished the his words, moved a shelf to reveal a hole in the wall, leading to a room with 5 young men inside that immediately feel better with the sight of the priest <<Father, finally, it’s everything ok?>> the men suddenly asked, <<Yes don’t worry, that noise was just made by our new guests….?..> replied looking at Serge. <<Err, yes, I’m Sergey, and this is Alesa...>> said Serge, quite nervous.<<Well as I said, i need everything in the need of keep my mission opened. Initially, some deprived of hope outlaws came at my mission, revealing that some useful stuff was inside this Zone, and they were connected up with the right places to see that, so I managed to came here while some people every time agree to lend me an hand, in secrecy, to retrieve something valuable.>> concluded the Priest, while cleaning his glasses, before cracking up a smile and make a sweet voluptuous look at the two cousins.

I bet they didn’t liked him immediately.

By the way, what to do next?

<<Sorry father, but we better move fast. We have something important to do and we’re quite in a hurry, so if you understand…..>> but suddenly the priest raged <<hey hey wait a second my friends, can’t you try to give a little hand to us? I’m not here to pretend anything, but as I saw your expression in that alley in front of a dwarf, I think that our company is such needed, or at least it seems…..well, I suppose we could help you sneaking in these corridors, if you help us transport some of the stuff we’re looking for…>>.

The tension broke up in a second.

<<Now wait, just wait a second father…father? father what! What’s this father stuff, do you know who my father was? A damn thief. And he was so bastard that he could spit on the grave of us all just for money, and where was your god when I was at home roasting some meat waiting to him to come back home, the day he decided to never come back? Now I’ll tell you….those days I survived with a rifle in my hands, so don’t give me advice on how to kill. And now, if you don’t mind…>> .

<<Ok, ok , so sorry. So sorry.>>said father Nikolaj. Serge moved back to the alley, but the priest ménage to stop him again << Ok! I said I am sorry damnit! I didn’t mean to offend or something. I was just saying that eight are more then two while counterattacking if the monsters are too much, and we can actually move better and faster…..i know you’re here for something. Your eyes, your clothes, you’re a stalker son. And I am here with a similar purpose. So what about a helping hand, I need yours and I could give you mine.>>

<<I don’t really think I need your hand, priest, and besides that, why if you have five men with you you’re so sure that just two people more can really give you all that help to make a difference? We could die all if one of your friends makes a wrong move. We’re too much people, I can’t feel the right business on this>>

<<Hey kid, I did the hard life too, what do you think, you’ve been the only one in danger of life? I still remember the impossibility to feed kids with milk because the cows were eating the irradiated grass damaged from the contaminated rainfalls….damn, it seems yesterday….So don’t talk with the head so high. Now just wake up your mind for a second: the more the time passes, the more it’s dangerous to stay here. Now, I suppose we’re here to find devices in this particular complex….it’s not too big. Just five buildings, and we can manage to make this run in a pair of hours. I need your hands because it’s just more hands, quite useful anyway isn’t it? I would pay for other two hands more, so you could imagine how I care for four hands more…>>

Serge felt more and more disgusted <<Oh, so that’s why, seems much clear now, that your saint aura and your will of helping the weaks vanishes…to let a expression of straight convenience take the starring role on your face.>>

<<You’re not on this earth to judge anyone my son. That’s God’s task. Take my request as it is, and take the best out of it for you and your companion. And outside of here, I’ll have a good eye on you two, too>>….some seconds of silence passes….how strange to heard a preacher in a no god’s land like this….all this rotten stuff aside, and the most rotten things come out of a mouth dressed with church’s uniform.

Serge thought well: maybe sounds a little strange his request, but If I can’t understand how a man can dedicate his life to something called god, that It’s by definition not part of this planet and can’t affect anything in my reality, why should I understand his words?

Anyway I was always a loner, maybe it’s time to give this attitude a rest….his thoughts became words after a brief hook up with Alesa’s eyes:

<<Ok, lead the way, we accept, but once we’re out, you give us some food, and our streets gets separated forever. We aim for the rooms near the storage. I suggest to head there before, as our task is the easiest one.>> but that last request suddenly felt heavy, so little but so heavy, like the last drop of water that makes the bucket full of nerves to overflow. The tension was so heavy in the air it seemed an anomaly was starting, damnit. The priest took immediately the scene << Wait, wait, wait , wait, let’s try to make this one faster instead, we can go there and take our stuff first, then we will get your direction to take yours, ‘cause we will try our rout outside in the opposite direction on where we came….er, ‘cause we’ll be covered from the pitch dark, and it will be useful to avoid the movements of some smugglers in the area, as we will be so full of stuff and so slow to be in danger if we will be spotted by some of them. Please. Please sons, I beg your help, please>> his eyes again turned from anxiety to prey in just a few seconds. How can a man be so vicious , and show so much ambiguity? Maybe ambiguity was the characteristic that ruled his soul since the day his left feet came out of his mother’s womb, everything just felt so painful, so painfully tiring. But time was passing, the oxygen was so thin in that dirty basement, and Serge was thinking that the sooner he was out, the better it was.

For everyone. He accepted.

 

The long walk to the rooms started when then finally the priest took the lead of the direction, with a disgusting satisfied smile. Was it the right choice? Was a good decision to take such a unwanted company, to slowdown their mission in a place that punishes who stops for too much time inside itself?

But I won’t take my identity hidden anymore….as you’ve probably asked yourself, who’s this first person view in this story? Who’s the witness of these events, telling everything and giving always boring personal comments, and why? Well, I’m Sergey’s father, who else? I can’t leave him, I will not be free of rest my soul, not until anyone on the earth that remembers me remains alive. But anyway, time’s almost arrived.

I have to finish up this, to remember this events, but there’s not a lot more, you now?

Serge’s doubts finished soon. All his questions, all the faces he saw tonight, all the nervous sensations in the air, all the doubts he fronted, all the images of the priest drying his sweat with a little sheet of paper came to his mind in a moment when upon entering with the other men in the room inside the room where the goodies were supposed to be, he saw smugglers everywhere looking at them, letting him at first astonished, and then falling from the clouds in the dark understanding that the priest totally used and betrayed them. Father Nikolay, if it was his real name, hooked up with the smugglers’ officer, hugging him, cracking an half smile while saying confused words like ‘’ All people in perfect conditions, healthy organs, but I can’t guarantee for the two young ones..this time was quite difficult to bring people here, but they’r thieves and loner stalkers this time too, so no one will never cry them back….’’.And that’s for sure. The only one who’s actually able to cry Sergey back it’s me, and I’m here, but on the other side of the life…. I’m about to see him again, anyway. Alesa was immediately stopped and knocked out with a few kicks. Sergey stared horrified, like a salt statue for most of those minutes. Images of the other men being captured, the way the priest took his money and drugs in a old brown sack and didn’t ever turned up on watching them before going away , of Alesa being knocked off to the floor were passing on his eyes. After a few minutes of this, and Sergey in a rush took off his three cartridges, his three beloved grandfather’s rifle cartridges always with his as lucky charms, and swallowed them, suffocating…the rusty one started to cut his throat from the inside, he started to pass away...And noone cared about it, he was still good for taking the organs anyway…

I’m here now, son. I have you in my arms…soon you’ll be able to start to slowly see me…

Just a few minutes more, a few coughing more, and bye bye Sergey.

THE END

Alessandro Toffoli – Roma Italy 79ale@fastwebnet.it